I will tell you, my friend: baby shower decorating is a fine art. There is much more involved in it than you might think. Of, everyone knows all of the basic elements of baby shower decorating: duckies on the wall, little paper plates with pictures of infants against a soft purple background, and of course, the baby (if you can keep the little whelp cute and quiet for the whole party, that is). But how to keep the baby shower decorations on that line between too cute and too tasteful – how to be just cheesy enough without being downright nauseating. Ah, my friend, that is where the artistry lies.

After all, if you get to baby shower decorating with a tactful eye, no one will have even the slightest idea of what you are doing. Where are the little duckies? What about the puppies and kitties? Have you not so much consulted hallmark for a basic briefing on aesthetics? The fact is that people expect cute, and cute they must have.

You might think that people would be alright with just some flowers in the center of the table, but in this day and age, they will settle for nothing of the sort. Your baby shower decorating should include, at the very least, a stuffed teddy bear in the middle of the table holding the flowers. Only this will really show your friends that you are in the spirit of the moment. Anything less, and they might even begin to question your parenting skills. The confidence of your friends is dependent on your baby shower decorating.

I recommend finding your most vacuous, frilly friend and having her handle all of the baby shower decorating herself. She will be quite grateful for this opportunity – the vacuous and frilly always see this type of confidence as an acknowledgment of their good taste. Let her direct you to the website with the fluffiest bows, the cutest pastel and soft water color posters, so that you can waste your money ordering them. You might as well resign yourself to the simple fact that baby shower decorating is always an exercise in bad taste, and none of us is really so high as to be unable to comprehend bad taste. Still, caution is advised in taking the responsibility for baby shower decorating on yourself – some are better at being tacky than are others. Use your judgment.